Balance.

As in balance in my life.

While still on track for IM, my free time and weekends were dedicated to training. And that was the choice I, and many other athletes, made. That choice is what makes you an Ironman.

I mean, when one of my best friends from college was flying in from New York to spend the weekend with me, which is not a luxury we have very often, I seriously considered telling her not to come. Because I needed to train. I couldn't lose a whole weekend to catching up and spending time with a girl that I adore. I can't believe I actually had that thought. Of course I could skip a weekend of training to spend time with an important person in my life. And of course I had pangs of guilt.

And then I got hurt and didn't know what to do with myself. Or all the free time I had.

But let me tell you about one of the best weekends I've had in a long long time.

Saturday morning we headed out to the Mama Goose Memorial Run Walk benefiting the C. Carbonne Comprehensive Cancer Center. Seeing as I am still on the no activity list, Wyatt was going to have to run it alone and represent!

Doesn't he look thrilled?!?

(Yes Robert, if I can't run it myself he is going to do it for me and like it!!)

Also out was one of my coworkers, Andy, and his wife.

Look at them playing so nicely. :)

These kids made me proud!

Andy (former runner McRunner pants) smoked the 5k in 19mins and change.

Wyatt's goal was a 9min pace, and if you factoring in the time he wasted stopping to puke, he nailed that with a time just over 28min.

After the 5k I went home to nap. Really it was more like I went back to bed. For 3 1/2 hours. I don't know why I was so tired, I certainly hadn't done anything that morning. Meanwhile Wyatt went to a tiling clinic at HomeDepot. He's convinced somewhere inside of him is a Mr. FixIt....eh, right. We'll see. Post clinic we had lunch...and another nap.

Then the fun began!! (Saddly it was rainy all night, so the camera was left in the car.)

A group of longtime friends, who I don't see nearly enough, were up at Devil's Lake camping and hanging out. Michele and Justin, Shain and Heather, Kari and Mark....such fantastic people! They had been up there since Friday night and survived some epic weather. We on the other hand, rolled in just in time for dinner Saturday night. Kari is one heck of a campfire gourmet! First there was steak and potatoes (I had potatoes sans steak). Then there were pudgie pies.

Oh the pudgy pie. Wyatt had never heard or seen a pudgie pie maker before. I think he fell a little in love with Kari for introducing him to the glory of the pudgie pie maker. First, like she had made the kids earlier for lunch, she made Wyatt a cheese and hotdog pudgie pie (I had mine without the hotdog) then he and I split a pudgie applie pie. Oh the deliciousness. And it all goes so incredibly well with a case of PBR and a group of friends.

Next morning, after a delightful night of tent sleep, we got up to enjoy more of Kari's campfire deliciousness. This time it was egg sandwich's. Yum. Then sadly, we had to pack up of gear and head home.

But don't worry. The fun did not stop there.

We got home in time to shower and Ride the Drive. That's right, trying to be hi plike Chicago, Madison opted to shut down a handful of the downtown roads for part of Sunday to let people run, walk or bike them. And it was awesome! Seeing as I am still suppose to be resting and recovering, we took a leisurely roll downtown "rode the drive," stopped at a new bike shop, and then decided to have our own Irresponsible Sunday.

Now as a Ironman athlete in training, you are not allowed to have Irresponsible Sunday, or any other day of the week. But oh the glory!

It all started with wings for lunch at Buffalo Wild Wings...and a beer. After lunch, we decided to split some ice cream, and another beer.

Notice I was hydrating in addition to my beer and ice cream. Very responisble of me.

We also wandered into the coolest shoe shop on State St and the Gap. But also being "responsible" on Irresponisble Sunday I restrained the urge to purcahse all the fantastic shoes I saw and a new pair of jeans or two...

Then we rolled our way over to the Essen Haus, for another beer.

Then Ryan joined us, and how could we not have another beer?!

It all ended with some pizza and beer at the Glass Nickle before a chilly roll home.

Oh, and let's not forget Wyatt's first adventure in giving Burton a bath...

All in all a perfect weekend.

Sure, I know that IM day I be beside myself. It's going to be rough, but I'll be ok.

IM Spectating

Here's a little program you can input your projected IM times into and it crunchs the numbers and spits out approximate times and locations for your faithful spectators to cheer you on at. Seriously, that simple. In previous years the website has charged $5.00 for this. This year the cost is the same, with all proceeds going to the Janus Charity fund.

Check. It. Out.

http://www.pattonathletics.com/qsheets.htm

How cool is that?!?

He did it! Wyatt represted us well at the Mama Goose Memorial 5k! His first 5k ever....and he only puked a little. :) Official times not available quite yet, but we're guestimating 28'ish.
Go speed Wyatt!

Bleh.

At least once or twice a year my ulcer ends up angry enough to make me think that there is an angry fire breathing alien in my stomach trying to get out that may may actually cause me to a)vomit fire and or b)die. And I wish I could say that this is a result of crazy nights out or too much exotic spicy food, but no no, it's not. It's just me letting stress get the better of me. Anyone who knows me will tell you that it's not that hard to imagine. I kind of border on high strung basket case most of the time. Like one of those annoying yippy cracked out small dogs. It's part of my charm....

I came into work this morning keeled over in pain, promptly forced down a fistful of the chalk deliciousness best known as Tums, and have been slouched in my desk ever since. I have managed to drink enough water that my stomach feels more like embers, less like raging fire but I still feel awful.

And what in the world has my panties so twisted?!?

That's a great question.

This whole apartment renting and moving thing has got me on edge. Especially the time frame we're working with and everything that has to get done. And show my apartment....ick. Don't like it. I showed it to 2 gals last night, both of whom really liked it and turned in applications (yay!) but it's just not that easy. My landlord is being a serious poop about everything and that alone has me worked up. But I'm trying to embrace the good news, that it is hugely unlike I will be paying to for 2 separate living spaces. That's a relief. The rest of it will work itself out, right?

Then there's the whole Ironman thing. It just stinks to not be participating. Sure I've decided to volunteer again this year. I'll definitely be out there cheering all of the amazing athletes on. But it's not the same. I wanted to be out there. Every email I get, every time I hear about, everything, just tears me up!!!

And normally running is my reprieve. After the first mile or so I fall into a mind numbing stride and the rest disappears. But seeing as I am on the no exercise/getting fat list, that is not even an option to burn off my nervous energy. (Did I mention that the fact I am getting fat is stressing me out too?)

It's time to breathe and reboot. And drink a lot of milk...

Things that make me feel like a fraud...

I never check my mail. I figure all things of importance in my world come via phone or email. So it was no real suprise when I came home today to find my mailbox overflowing. What I found there was sort of like a punch in the gut.

First there was a priority mail envelope with something inside. Hmmm, no return address. I open it up to find my Dairyland Dare swag looking back at me. When I didn't show I just assumed my event goodies when to more deserving people.

To add insult to injury was another unmarked envelope inside which I find a cool Ironman swim cap.

Seriously. I am a fraud. I do not deserve these things. I am a failure and should not be given cool race goodies like the real participants. But thanks for reminding me, cruel tri gods, how much I suck.

Scary Stuff.

My thoughts go out to this triathlete's family, friends, and training companions.

http://www.wkowtv.com/Global/story.asp?S=10962396

I guess it's a a wake up call that the the unexpected can happen to even the most in-shape prepared people. And a reminder to make sure thatyour OWS's are well supported.

Thursday 13

1. I cannot for the life of me figure out how to get the "Thursday 13" link to post correctly and actual work. Grr! Stupid html.

2. I am desperately trying to rent my apartment so when we move (the end of next month!!) I don't have a lease hanging over my head. If you know anyone who wants a fabulous near-east efficiency send 'em my way! :)

3. EEK!! I am moving the end of next month!! It sounds forever away, but it I have so much to do. And this bionic owie foot of mine is NOT helping things. I need boxes, I need to throw stuff out, I need to pack, I need to find someone to take my lease....oh to do list, kindly get yourself under control.

4. I am so over waddling around and being in pain. And really, I think this boot thing is only making it worse. There are new aches, pains, and soreness they were not there a few weeks ago. I blame the boot and think I should discontinue wearing it immediately!

5.Wyatt pack up 3 giant boxes of HIS shoes last night, 2 to keep and 1 to donate. Those boxes DO NOT include the 15+ pairs of shoes he kept out to "get him by until the move." Repeat after me Wyatt, "Hello my name is Wyatt and I am a shoe-a-holic."

6. Oddly, or not, I still have absolutely no desire to get on a bike. It's gone as far as me contemplating selling my bikes (which I have been told I am not allowed to do).

7. I really miss running. That's all I want to do lately. But seeing as it still hurts to even waddle, I don't think I will be going out for a run any time soon.

8. I am getting fat. For reals. To go from 10+ hours a week of exercise back in June to nothing since then is hard for the body (and mind) to take. Seriously, I am out of shape and feeling bad bad bad about myself.

9. In attempts to ward of the "I'm a fatty blues" I am getting my hair cut tonight.

10. I'm contemplating a trip to the Gap and Banana Republic for some retail therapy post hair cut. But I don't want to buy clothes to condone the new bulbous shape I have recently attained. It seems as though even retail therapy cannot make amends these days. But I suppose that's a good thing for my credit card.

11. In conversation with my mom the other day I learned that they (and by they I mean the jerk she married) gave away part of my grandparent's bedroom set. Who does that?!? I am pissed! I want that bedroom set. All of it.

12. All I want for my birthday is that bedroom set. No party, no presents, no mention of the day. (we all recall how well last year's birthday went....) I'm giving you all a few months to get creative, pool your resources, talk some sense, work some miracles, whatev, and GET THAT BEDROOM SET!!!

13. We were suppose to go to Mexico for my birthday to see Taz, Edde and Lawrence race Ironman Cozumel...but it has gotten expensive, the the hotel they're staying in is sold out, there's the stupid house (I don't really mean that, but this moving thing is a pain and takes $), and well I am too fat to wear a swimsuit and enjoy the beaches. It looks like I will not be getting my much needed vacation this year.... :(

It has NOT been a good week.

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In his mind he's a Kenyan!

Here's all 5lbs of my dog Burton stretching before going for a run...

Apparently when they set out on their 3m jaunt the plan was to run the first half and walk the second half because presumably a little guy like Burton couldn't keep up for a full 3m run. At the half way point the pace slowed to a walk, at which point Burton apparently threw Wyatt his best "hurry up fatty" look (his description, NOT mine) and took off running again. All the way home.

Upon getting home only one of the two was worn out....can you guess who?

Why I started Tri-ing...

This post goes out to Little Miss Runner Pants and her epic crash...

Gather round and let me tell you about the 22yr old that was me a handful of years ago.

I graduated spring 2004 from UW and opted to stay in Madison because that's where the love of my life was. We got an apartment, moved in together, and were going to live happily ever after. Sigh...

Well, January 2005 I was out snowboarding, as I do, tearing it up in the terrain park, when things went awry. I came off of a rail looking pretty fly for a chick, landed, cleared the base and lost my balance. I sat back and caught my left wrist wrong on the not so soft snow. SNAP CRACKLE POP! I snapped that wrist clear in half. In the adrenaline of the moment I pulled off my glove, my jacket, and my watch, hoping to minimize the clothing they would have have to cut off. There were no blood or guts, but there was one hell of a deformed wrist. Too dizzy and upset to walk they carted me off to the patrol room.

They splinted me up while we tried to reach my emergency contact: my boyfriend. (Side note: as I stayed in Madison at that point for him I really knew very few people in town and certainly did not have other qualified "in case of emergency" people to call in the area.) Turns out he was shooting darts at the bar and couldn't drive to the hill to pick me up, but would meet me at the hospital. Promise. It was like 7:30-8'ish at this point. At that point I was still part of the Ski Patrol for the hill I was at, so one of the patrol members, Judy (who also happened to be a nurse), drove me into Madison to the UW hospital.

We probably got there around 9 or so. Seeing as I was not bleeding, young or old, or in respiratory distress, they left me in the waiting room for an hour or so. I guess Tuesday nights are busy at the ER. Around 10:30 they moved me from the waiting room to a bed in the hallway of the ER, conveniently located across from the security guard in case I got rowdy, where I sat until almost midnight. Still no boyfriend.

When they took me in for x-rays I decided to put this semi-private space to good use and shed a few layers (I was still sitting my my snowboard pants...). Seeing as my bf was still MIA, Judy helped me change. PS-I definitely mooned the the unsuspecting DR who walked in to the room. Opps. She also had to help me go to the bathroom at some point. Sometime around 11:30 they finally got me a room, and Judy and I moved in there. Not long after my boyfriend FINALLY showed.

The x-rays showed that I had shattered the top of my radius and had a clean break on my ulna,. They tried multiple times to set my arm, but as I had sat for hours and the muscles had contracted so much, and there was so little in tact bone to work with it, it wasn't happening. They even tried putting my arm in an awful traction sort of device to get the muscles to give and allow them to set it. In the end, around 5am or so, they splinted it as best they could and sent me home telling me to call the dr in the morning.

There was no sleep that night, and come 8:30-9am when we couldn't get a hold of the dr back to the ER we went. I was in so much pain. Like nauseous dizzy worst pain of my life, drugs not cutting it, pain. We spent the entire day in the ER again until around 4pm, convinced I was being overly dramatic, they sent in dr to sign off and send me home. That dr, however, noticed something else. Apparently the amount of pain I was in and the loss of feeling in my hand was a bad thing. Really? Shocking.

Next thing I know I am being hauled into emergency surgery. Turns out that I had developed acute compartmental syndrome and the pressure in my arm needed to be reduced STAT! Cut'er open and get in there people! I woke up multiple hours later, still no clue what's going on, but with a pump attached to my arm and external pins holding the bones in place. Wait....wasn't I suppose to be going home because I was faking the pain?!

Thus began my 2wk stay at UW hospital. Midway through this little vacation they hoped that pressure and swelling had been reduced enough to close up my arm. They went in there only to discover it had not and they couldn't close the incision completely. So again, I woke up with things completely different that I was told they would be. And my hip hurt. WTF? I don't remember hurting my hip. Turns out they had to graft skin off of my hip and into my arm to be able to close me up. So not only was I going to have a hideous scar on my arm, but they took the equivalent of a cheese slicer to my hip and left me with a giant painful scar there too. Awesome.

My boyfriend couldn't stay with me so my mom had come up and moved into my hospital room with me. Once she was there I saw my boyfriend one other time. I guess he couldn't miss time at the bar, darts, snowboarding and life in general for lil ol me.

Finally, after 2 painful weeks at UW Hospital, and after 2 surgeries, multiple mishaps, and many many visits from many different med students (I was like the bearded lady at the circus, EVERYONE had to see me) I was sent home. Not only was I still in pain, but I was all sorts of scarred up to boot. I had a 2x4 rectangle of missing skin off of my left hip, decoratively covered by medical cheese cloth stapled to my hip, and a scar from my wrist to elbow. And we're not talking any old scar here. There was a giant, misshapen, bloody, flesh-colored, mesh-like skin graft in there, and more stitches and staples than I could count. I was hideous and not happy.

To add insult to injury, the love of my life boyfriend had let me down! Huge! And now I had to go home to our apartment and cohabitate with this inattentive loser! And yes, this paragraph deserves every exclamation point it has!!!!

I had almost a month on disability to sit at home and think about these sorts of things. It was obvious the bf had to go. But if I broke up with him, who would ever like me again? I was deformed (and getting rapidly chunk-tastic from lack of any sort of activity)! And even if I could find some weirdo with a scar fetish to love me, I certainly never pictured this disgusting grafted monstrosity of an arm in my wedding pictures. More times than I can count I was told that "it would give me character" and "build strength." Well, dammit, I was strong enough and had more than enough character!! And really, who was ever going to want to see me neked again? It was a dark spring that year...

So yeah, we broke up (and lived together for a handful of months that way, talk about adding insult to injury). And as I sat and felt sorry for myself that spring I got progressively more and more out of shape that spring. It was bad. I only felt worse about myself. Now I was deformed AND fat.

What did I do? I signed up for my first triahtlon. My x-boyfriend/roommate laughed at me and thought I was off my rocker, and to be honest I didn't disagree. But I trained and I did it. And in the process I discovered that I was ok. I was ok being single, I was ok with my arm (and hip), I was ok with my life. I was so proud of myself and what I had accomplished, and that in and of itself, made everything worth it. Take THAT x-boyfriend!!

It was sort of a pivotal moment. I learned a lot about myself. But bones and abraisions heal, and scars fade. Sure you'll have a scar (and a story) but the way I see it, that all adds to my general mystique and badass-ness.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I know it's easy for me to sit here, not bloddy not scraped up and my chiclets in tact, feeling relatively ok (except for my broken foot) and say these things. I know what it feels like to say "why me?!?!?" and let's throw in an "it's not fair!!!" for good measure. Yep, been there. I had my own version of that jsut this summer, when in my quest for Ironman this fall I fractured my foot and will not be attempting to race.

Life handed me my ass that spring. It wasn't easy, but I dug deep and got through it. And you will too Little Miss Runner Pants!!

How could I forget?!?

In the midst of the poop storm that is my reality these days, do have some EXCITING news to share!!

Here is a view of our new back yard!!

The offer was accepted and there is a new house in the horizon. Ok, technically, it's not my house, but Burton and I will happily be squatting there in a months time. :)

Congratulations to my favorite new home owner!!

Thursday 13

Number of...

hours worked yesterday: 14

hours of sleep last night: 4

times I woke up last night thinking I had overslept: 3

hours to work today: 12

times I have asked what day of the week it is today: 6

medical professionals seen this week: 5

cute medical professionals seen this week: 1

weeks left in the boot: 5

lbs gained since busting my foot in June: 8

weeks it took Infinit to ship my water bottle:7

current uses for my Infinit water bottle: 0

minutes until lunch: 26

times I have counted this list to see if I have reached 13: I lost count...

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I have enough accessories, thank you very much.

So turns out the potential stress fracture of my right Navicular is the lesser of the concerns with my right foot/ankle.

Upon closer inspection, better known as 35 claustrophobic minutes in the MRI tube, cutie resident Dr Dave found that I have an extra bone in my right foot, an Accessory Navicular. Apparently I am one of the elite 3-5% of the population that has extra bones in their feet or hands.

From what I understand, your Posterior Tibial Tendon runs somewhere from your calf muscles down around and under (or something like that) and usually attaches directly to the Navicualr. In the case of my deformed foot, the Posterior Tibial Tendon attaches to the Accessory Navicular NOT the Navicular.

Under normal use, many people will be none the wiser that they have claw growing out of the side of their foot. Under a lot of strenuous use (running, etc), or given one solid pulled calf muscle or sprain the tendon basically wrenches on the claw creating a major ouch factor.

So what does this mean for the future of my foot? Well the immediate in plan is the boot (see Monday's post) and rest rest rest. Since they are less concerned about a fracture, I don't have to use crutches (we'll call that a small victory), I get to go in tomorrow to get molded for some new custom orthotics, I start PT the beginning of September and I pow-wow with Dr Dave the middle of next month.

Chances are that I will be sliced and diced in the near future to remove to cut back on an accessory or 2. You know, de-clutter. I guess they'll get in there with their fork and knife, much like carving the Thanksgiving turkey, remove my claw and reattach the tendon.

I spose long term that this is a good thing. I'll be less likely to have reoccurring problems and pain. But right now it is just making me a basket case. I am in pain, my plans for the summer have been pretty much destroyed, and I have to see dr's way more frequently that I would like to.

I am trying desperately to take a deep breath and remain calm'ish. But as anyone who has come within 5ft of me these past few days can attest to, I am failing miserably! Just ask Wyatt, he'll tell you about the absolute psycho I've been and how I'm driving him "f'ing nuts." Yes, that's a direct quote.

IronKatie? Not this year.

And if you want to buy me an accessory, how about a new Prada bag or something pretty from Tiffany's?

Info and pictures paraphrased and borrowed from:

http://www.eorthopod.com/public/patient_education/6477/accessory_navicular_problems.html

http://www.footphysicians.com/footankleinfo/Accessory_Navicular_Syndrome.htm

I may not get a shot at a cool IM finisher medal this year, but if it's any consolation I do get to wear this awesome boot for the next 2+ months...

Thursday 13

1. I actually cheated and started my 13 on Monday (see #13 on last week's Thursday 13)

2. I made it out climbing for the first time this season last Sunday...I got 2 Katie's high, which in non-Katie speak, would be like 12ft off the ground

3. Being injured this summer has led to some weight gain and I am NOT ok with it.

4. I hate it when people don't signal--it brings out the worst of my road rage!!

5. I really want to make it out to NY this fall to visit my good friend Jamie...I miss her. :(

6. I also want to head down to Cozumel to see my IM friends race, but the details are not coming to gether as easily as I would have like.

7. A man drowned swimming in Lake Monona yesterday and that makes me not want to do the OWS race or IM....

8. I think backpack leashes are a sign of lazy parenting, but something about this made me giggle...

9. Even though it means long hours, extra work, and little sleep, I'm excited to have friends in from across the country next week

10. I am not prepared to do as much riding in the next week as I am suppose to, which is a very bad sign

11. I am excited about the prospect of a new house, roommate, and maybe a new puppy!! :)

12. After 2 nights of everything going wrong and me losing my patience, my bike is rebuilt...with 44cm handlebars...shit! I knew something didn't look right.

13. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like it my "5 Year Plan" had panned out...

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Dairyland Dare

It's official. I am registered for the Dairyland Dare 100k.

Ugh.

At least I'll be out there with a handful of my coworkers....and as I paced Wyatt for every slow painful step (his description, not mine) of the Lake Monona 20k, he has promised to pace me for every slow painful calf burning "I hate my life" hill climbing mile (my description, not his).

Seriously?!?

So it's no real secret that my training this summer is not what I had planned it to be. Not being able to run in over a month, or do any hard training rides, has been incredibly frustrating and not at all helpful in training for my 1st Ironman. But my foot has to heal. And just as I saddle up for a decent training ride and tell myself that there's still hope...I crash my bike, leaving myself concussed and incredibly sore. It's just not my year. So what do I do? Well I started to crunch numbers the past few days. My "worst case scenario" numbers. I should amend that statement slightly. What WAS my "worst case scenario" numbers are now my best case, if I make it to race day numbers. With this never ending stream of times and situations clouding my brain, I found myself on Slowtwitch the other day. With all the drama surrounding the recent Spirit of Racine race, which I had planned to race before I broke myself, I had found myself reading through the forums. And I came across this: Re: IM - What happens after 17:00:00?

Yes there are many that finish later but why do they bother. As eloquently and convincingly determined by many on this board, they aren't real ironman if they finish after 14 hours. They are really just fat bastards who are only slightly better than all those sloth people who make health care go up. Actually they are worse because they make it hard for the real athletes to get into the good races. Those people make a mockery of everything that doing a race is about. I like to go back around 15 hours to laugh at them and tell people around me that those poor saps don't even know its over: Heck, I finished four hours earlier. Maybe had they not even bothered training for the run they would be faster.


Now to set this up, the initial question had seemed innocent enough: What happens after 17:00:00 (the IM cut off)? There were all sort of insightful posts and then that. Really?! Seriously! Are there people out there that really think that way? WTF?! I am kind of disgusted by this.

Do triathletes really think this way?

Farmer Katie!

Look what I grew all by myself. =D