Tuesday, April 29, 2014

A year ago today

A year ago today we put the final odds and ends into the moving truck and said goodbye to our lives in Madison. 

I remember all too well saying goodbye to my bestfriend and crying for the first hour of the drive. I remember feeling ready to leave Madison, but not feeling like Minneapolis was the right move. I remember wishing we could turn around and cancel the entire move. I remember people telling me how many amazing opportunities there would be for me in Minneapolis, and how great the city is. I remember the relief of knowing that we would never have to see our terrible realtor after closing. 

I wish I could say that so far this adventure has been amazing, but it hasn't. I'm still looking for the right job, I'm still getting lost everywhere I go, I'm still trying to make friends, I'm still trying to accept the fact that this is my home.

Yes, there are things I like about Minneapolis. Taking the lightrail downtown. Running to the Minnehaha Falls. Sushi at Wakame. Tangletown Crossfit. But I would not hesitate for a minute to pack it all up and move.

Maybe someday this city will feel like home, but it doesn't yet. 

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Some things you never say

In this day and age, I think we can all agree that there is an incredible amount of pressure on women to look a certain way.

You skin should be effortlessly flawless.
You waist should be small, your curves should be ample (and perky!).
Your legs should be long and lean, and there should most certainly be a gap between your thighs.
Your hair should glisten.
You should never smell bad. Or sweat.

The list goes on and on.

It's not easy to be woman when ever actress, model, and "reality tv" star, seems to role out of bed runway ready. But what kills me, is how the average woman interacts and treats other women.

Yesterday at work I had the pleasure of helping a guest who was shopping for a friend. A friend I quickly learned had just had a baby. Fitted clothing were not an option because she didn't want her friend to feel self conscious about her new, post-baby, body. She reiterated to me that her friend had just had a baby, only this time she said:

"She just had a baby...so she looks like you, you know?"

No actually, I don't know. But I was too stunned to do much more than smile and nod. And then I proceeded to try on the clothing she had chosen so that she could see what the clothing would like like on a post-baby body.

Lest there be any confusion, no, I have not recently (or ever) had a baby. I have no delusions of being thin. I'm curvy, I always have been. Given the day, I might even have a bit lot of the dreaded muffin top peeking out of my waistband.

Yes, I know I could stand to lose a few pounds. Yes, I know I could stand to clean up my diet a bit. Yes, I know I so far from society's ideal woman we might not even be from the same society. But I work out (a lot). And I work every day at making better food choices.  And I do my damnedest to thumb my nose at the unrealistic expectations of society.

But what kills me, is why one woman would say something like that to another woman. Shouldn't we all be on the same team, working to build one another up, not tear one another down? Do we not realize the impact of our words and the hurt that they can cause? Why do we not work on building one another up rather than take any chance to tear each other down.

I challenge all the ladies out there to  say something sincere and kind to another woman tomorrow. And the day after that. And every day after that. Take a moment to compliment their amazing shoes, their great shirt, the sparkle of the ring, their hard work at the gym/studio/box, their "Madonna arms." As a society we need to work on building each other up.

Be kind to one another, because society and media is hard enough for all of us.

And if this is what a post-baby body looks like, what's the big deal?!