My irrational fear of sculpt. Visited.

So tonight, after work, I was finally peer pressured into facing my irrational fear of sculpt head-on. I know what you're thinking. What is so scary about sculpt? And to be honest, I'm not entirely sure. What I do know is that I have heard so many horror stories, and while I am an active person, I am so very afraid of living one of those horror stories firsthand.

Sure, I run and crossfit on a regular basis. I dabble in yoga and barre. But sculpt, the masochistic combination of flow and weights and cardio and dance all jam-packed into one sixty-minute class, makes me stomach churn.

But as I will try (almost) anything once, I committed to go. I tried to back out. I packed three outfits. I nervously peed ever ten minutes. I had sweaty armpits. I felt barfy. But I went.

before

The studio was like 900 degrees. And crowded. And I was surrounded by my coworkers, all who sculpt on the regular. I was terrified. 

the 5lb weights were merely for show

Jessie, who I can only describe as a masochistic, dancing machine, super hottie, took us through 60 of the brutal-est yoga-esque minutes in my life. Fast feet. High knees. KICK KICK KICK. Crescent...deeper, deeper, deeper....HOLD. Chatarunga. Repeat. Push up. Plank. Mountain Climbers. FASTER. Slower. Hold. FML.  My muscles cried, my coordination was tested, I desperately tried to breathe and keep up. It was like a cracked out dance party with weights. And somehow, she made it look good. Real good.

#hotmess

The thing of it is, I feel like I am dying during these types of classes. My breathe is short, my shoulders hurt, my quads quiver, and I generally feel miserable. But somehow, the day after, I'm never sore (at least not from barre). In the moment, I cannot push through. I cannot seem to hold things quite deep enough for quite long enough, and I bail on the weights from time to time. I know...get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I get it, but cannot seem to do it.

#thesweatlife

Did I barf? Nope. Would I go back? Maybe. Will this be my sweat of choice? No. 

Three Things Thursday

1. I've been a little MIA since getting home from Thailand. In case you were worried, we made it home safe and sound, just as planned. Truth be told, I didn't want to come back. Ever. And just as soon as I devise a plan to live and work in Thailand I'll be on the next boat. With the dogs. Obviously.

2. So yeah, Christmas. It's this weekend or something. I've never been a big holiday person. I think it goes back to one too many mediocre (at best) holidays as a child. The holidays always seem to bring little more than drama, which is in fact the EXACT OPPOSITE of what they should do. We were given 2 little fake trees by my MIL the week we got home from Thailand, because it wouldn't be the holidays if our house went undecorated. Her heart was in the right place, so I promptly tricked them out with all things miniature pink things I could find at Target.

I even wrapped some presents for under the little trees, because I LOVE wrapping presents. For real.

3. The real inspiration for today's post is this little gem of a video I just came across today. I realize that it's been circultaing the interwebs since the end of Novemeber, so posting it here today is my admission of being late to the party. Whatever. It made me laugh. And it's awesome. And pretty much embodies everything I despise about the trends and fads.

Yoga School Drop Out

After much debate and over-analyzing, I have officially become a yoga school drop out.

This is something I've been hemming and hawing over virtually since the teacher training began. not even a week after the first training module I headed in for stomach surgery, which was far from the ideal way to kick this whole process off. Surgery turned out to be much more serious than planned, and the recovery was more than triple what I anticipated. About the time I was feeling better we headed into event and sale season here at work, and it just hasn't stopped yet. Every weekend is booked, work weeks are running looooong, there's now a new puppy in the house. I'm exhausted!

Ladybug and the new pup, Willis, napping together.

When it comes down to it, this winter/early springs schedule has been so busy that I just wasn't giving myself the time to practice and dedicate to the teacher training. And the less free time I had, and the more exhausted I was, the more I stressed about the situation. The more I stressed, the more I resented even going to yoga classes.

And that seems just about as anti-yoga as it gets.

As I looked ahead to late spring and summer, I was noticing that the majority of my weekends were already booked and it's not even April yet! Not to mention the number of weekends that were already double-booked... I'm exhausted just thinking about it!

Part of me feels guilty and like a huge failure, but more of me feels relieved so I think it's win-win situation in the end.