Unmotivated.

Hi, my name is Katie and I am unmotivated.

There I said. Admitting your problem is the first step. Right?

Coming off over a year and half running-ban is hard! It's like starting over and relearning to run. That coupled with a fear of getting hurt, again, has help fuel my lack of motivation. How in the world do I start over? How did I start in the first place? How, how how?? Whine, whine wine!!

I just cannot get back on the workout-wagon. No matter what I try. I use to routinely come home from work, let the dogs out and head out on my evening run. Days I didn't have time to run after work I would head out for a 30min run at lunch. Waking up at 5 was just part of the routine so that I could swim before work. Toiling over the details of writing the perfect training plan, following it, revising, and tracking it, gave me a sense of accomplishment and excitement.

Heck, even two months ago, in the absence of running, I was able to find the energy and motivation to make it to yoga 3-4 times a week.

Those days are loooong gone.

I'm in a vicious cycle. I am too tired and stressed to workout. All I want to do at the end of the day is veg. It seems thats all I can muster the energy to do. I know that if I got my act together and made sweating part of my daily routine the energy would come back to me, but it's the initial energy I just don't have. I feel like such a sloth!! Ugh.

The Victor

The Victor

by: C. W. Longenecker

If you think you are beaten, you are.
If you think you dare not, you don't.
If you like to win but think you can't,
It's almost a cinch you won't.
If you think you'll lose, you're lost.
For out in the world we find
Success begins with a fellow's will.
It's all in the state of mind.
If you think you are out classed, you are.
You've got to think high to rise.
You've got to be sure of your-self before
You can ever win the prize.
Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger or faster man.
But sooner or later, the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can.

I am boring this poem from the infamous Redhead Running. As if her accomplishments and optimism aren't inspirational enough, the Redhead posted this poem last week in an honest and wonderful post. It definitely all resonates with me.

Without going all inspiration poster "I can, I will, I am" on you, there is absolutely something to setting your mind to your goal and going for it. There will always be obstacles, but there is always a solution. I think. I hope so anyways.

Oh, and be sure to wonder over to Redhead Running a give Red some love because her blog is pretty fabulous!!

Too much frosting, and other unrelated things...

Where to start...

For the most part I am seriously lacking the bridal gene. I just am. I'm not going to cry over dresses or flowers or center pieces. I don't really want to deal with caterers or djs. Traditions, while some have been known to make me tear up a bit at other weddings, don't hold any special place in my heart. I may have even suggested we elope to NYC City Hall before jet-setting to Europe or some tropical island. So when I was faced with going to a bridal show, I was less than excited. That's a little too high of concentration of estrogen and bridezillas for me. Shudder. But the fact of the matter is that we still needed to find the names of bakeries and find a dj for the event, so Wyatt and I went. Yes Wyatt not only went, but he suggested we go. Like woah.

The Rolling Pin Bake Shop

Their Lemon Poppyseed cupcake was BY FAR the best of the day!

What was the outcome? A sugar high like never before and a case of frosting induced nausea. That's right, we power tasted every bakery in the joint, and got the flock out of there. I had enough buttercream to swear off cake for life (or at least a month or so), but we did find one or two joints worth setting up an official tasting with. And I learned A LOT of what I don't like. Disco balls, bows, Christmas lights, and rotating plexi-glass displays. It's all a little too 1980's for me.

Speaking of the buttercream induced nausea, I broke down and had half a Sierra Mist at the show. I was doing soooo good. No Soda, specifically Diet Coke, for a whole. And out of desperation not to toss my cookies in public I resorted to white soda to settle my stomach. I had decided that I was ok with this and that it didn't caught against my 30 Before 30 month of no soda (which started January 9th if you were curious) but then yesterday I found myself fighting back chunks at work and succumb to Sierra Mist AGAIN. I feel like such a failure!! If my choices are purging in public of having a soda, I have to admit I will ALWAYS go the soda. There are just some things I am not willing to do. Yuck.

Does this mean I have to start over? I legitimately have not had a drop of Diet Coke in over a week now. That should count for something....

In other 30 Before 30 news, I had my January yoga workshop this past weekend. I was suppose to spend Friday evening, all day Saturday and all day Sunday at the workshop, but giving my still healing state I opted out of Saturday. I think it was the right decision because I was hella sore after Friday evening, not to mention Sunday. But I learned some super cool stuff about prana and energy, and postural compensations and corrections. I find myself wanting to incorporate these things not only into my practice, but every day. But like any new habit, it takes conscious effort to make it happen, and that is not always easy or pleasant at first.

There are so many ramble-y things I could mention. Katie vs Landlord, Landlord 0, Katie 3 #FTW!!! Or how I am diving head first into one of the more stressful weeks of the years this week, but that's probably not approved blog content. OR the laundry list of DIY home improvements I desperately want to accomplish, um, like yesterday. But at the moment I am hungry and distracted, so I'll have to save all that for another day!

30 Before 30

So 2011 brings, among other things, my 30th birthday. Surprisingly I'm not yet panicked or depressed by this age. In fact I am hopeful that my 30's will bring things that my 20's haven't. What those things are exactly, I'm not sure, but I know there will be plenty memorable moments. But I digress.

I've never really been a put it out there sort of bucket-lister. I mean, what if I fill my bucket with unobtainable goals and put the list out there, and years later have nothing more to show than the original list? Sad.

For example, I wanted more than anything to finish my first Ironman before I turned 30. 2009 was going t be that year. I trained, and trained, and in the end never made it to the start because of injury. I was crushed. For a while anyways. But I got over it. And I realized that my Ironman and triathlon goals are less about checking something off on a bucket list, and more about a lifestyle. There will be another race, another year, and another Ironman.

So I've decided that in the next 11+ months I have plenty of time to accomplish 30 things. I actually started writing this back in November but never quite finished my list or got around to posting it. Shocker, I know. My list is both big and small, significant and mundane, a lifestyle and the unfamiliar. Many of these things I use to do on a regular basis, but have let life and excuses get in the way these days.

Here goes.

My 30 before 30.

Eat at one new restaurant a month

January: ?

February 12: Umami Moto

March 17: Cooper's Hawk
Read 1 new book a month

January: Oogy

February: ?

March: The Love Machine (not my first time reading it, but who doesn't LOVE a little Jacqueline Susann from time to time)

Run 500+ miles
Run 2 Half Marathons
Complete a 70.3
Run my first marathon
Get Married!!

The date is set for September 23, 2011
Re-learn to mountain bike

Started at Ray's MTB 2/13/11

To be continued...
Participate in 1 WORS mountain bike race
Cook 1 new recipe a month

January 1, 2011: Lemoncillo Bundt Cake

February 7, 2011: Bake Chili Fries--AWFUL!! For you're sake, don't try them.

March 3,2011: Turkey Meatloaf (not my first turkey laof, but a new recipe for it. meh)

Give up fried food for 1 month

Climb at Devil's Lake
Watch 1 new movie a month

January: ?

February: Blue Valentine

March: Youth in Revolt

Go camping at least 2 times
Go snowboarding
Visit somewhere I've never been
Ride the IM WI loop at least once
Give up soda for 1 month

Started 1/9/11....wish me luck!

Ended 2/9/11
Use my wetsuit 10 times (should be modified to say FIT in my wetsuit...)

Visit the BFF in NYC
Build a piece of furniture
Try TRX
Clean out my closet AND dresser

Fit into my skinny jeans

Learn to knit a hat
Learn to geocache
Take dance lessons

Started 2/10/11

Go on a roadtrip

Well there you have it. For better or worse, my first bucket list. I should add updating the list as a sub-item on the list, but I think that's a given. Wish me luck!

Top 10 of 2010

2010 had it's lows, and by lows I mean ass-kicking, gut-wrenching, super-duper-sucking lows, but it also had it's highs. It's true that what goes down must come back up, er, however that cliche saying goes.

But before I look to 2011 and share my thoughts and goals for the new year, I thought I should post the obligatory Top 10 of 2010 post. If not for your perusal and enjoyment, than to remind myself that 2010 wasn't too shabby.

Without further ado, in chronological order.....the Top 10 of 2010!

10. On March 15th 2010 we brought home all 10lbs of furry, tail-wagging, butt-wiggling joy, Ladybug! She's been part of our family for almost a year now, and despite the time or 10 that Wyatt threaten to give her back, she has been a love!

9. The beginning of April took me to DC for work, which in itself is nothing to write home about. But when your BFF takes the bus down from NYC to meet you for the afternoon, attention must paid! Not only did the BFF make a cameo appearance, but we had the chance to hang out with a few college friends and see the sites with locals.

8. June brought surgery for me, and mountain bike racing for the guys. Not even crutches could keep me from tagging along as the official "in case of emergency" contact and cheering section.

7. Once off crutches Wyatt and I embraced the mini-break, and took long weekends to the Twin Cities and the Windy City. 4-star hotels, restaurants, shows like the Blue Man Group, and leisurely strolls along the lakefront and river, it was fabulous to break up the summer with a trip here and there.

6. Biking! The few months of nice weather we have here in Madison would not be complete without biking. We are now the proud owners of an Xtracycle Free Radical (awesome!!). It served as my chariot while I was on crutches, and later in the season it was out grocery-getting, picinic-going, farmer's market-going station wagon.

Did I mention the Pinglespeed got some mileage too?!? Woot!

5. Arguably the most memorable moment of the year, and number 1 in my heart for 2010, on September 11th 2010 Wyatt closed down an entire state park to propose to me.

September 2011 we will be Mr & Mrs!!

Sigh.

Tear.

Squeeee!!

4. Later in September we headed down to Vegas for Interbike for work, followed by a few days of vacation and debauchery. And the cherry on top? My BFF joined us! Wyatt had his hands full keep track of not one, but two Vegas virgins.

The Palm, Cirque du Soliel, Peep Show, 3 Tiffany's locations, Ceaser's Palace, craps, the Playboy Club, and oh so much more!

3. Early November had me heading to the Ironman 70.3 World Championships in Clearwater...and as it was Wyatt's birthday, I brought him along. While I worked the event (booo), Wyatt's days were filled with sleeping in, long walks on the beach, seashell collecting, and general relaxation. In the evenings we did have the chance to meet up with another coworker of ours, see some friends and eat some delicious food. All in all, not a bad lil work trip.

2. November 20th we celebrated our engagement with our closest friends by throwing a little shindig at the local brew pub. Wings, cupcakes, beer, wonderful company, and an embarrassing toast made for a memorable and wonderful evening.

1. Every year we make it our mission to make it to at least one Badger game. Being a UW alum, these games are very near and dear to me. This year we were at the season closer, where the Badgers officially tied as Big 10 Champs and sealed the deal on a trip to Pasedena.

Storming the field was a must!

So there you have it, the Top 10 of 2010. Now that it's been posted I can officially close the 2010 chapter and focus on 2011.

I'm back...

Yeah, so, um, hi. It's been a while now hasn't it....

(shuffle, shuffle....nervously pokes head around corner....)

Last time I was here I was jumping ship. I wasn't sure this was home to me anymore. But I think I may have done that prematurely. Turns out, I still have a lot to say. And do. And try. So my only New Year's resolution is to take the time to blog more. To take the time to empty the random thoughts rattling around my brain.

2010 was a rough year. Ankle surgery in June....followed by MONTHS of PT and recovery. And wouldn't you know that right about the time I am ok'd to start training and running again (hooray!) I had to go in for surgery on my freakshow rare stomach condition. And let me tell you, that surgery just a few weeks ago was way worse than anything else I have been through. This recovery has been rough, and I imagine it will continue to be rough for a few more weeks. Ow. Blech. Boo.

But on the flipside, I have two doggies that I LOVE, I have been lucky enough to have met some truly wonderful people, like @legaleagle, and I've been able to spend quality time with my besties, @rswebs and @sequinsandspice.

And I became engaged to my BFF and love of my life, @wyattjirsa!!! Squee!

Don't let this optimistic little ditty lead you to believe I have turned over a new Sally Sunshine kind of leaf. I haven't. I'm still me. Snarky, sassy, realist, even bitchy at times. I spent the past few sleepless recovering weeks writing and rewriting some sassy posts in my mind. Maybe it's for the best they have yet to make it here to the blogosphere, but they might. Eventually. Who knows where this blog will go in 2011, but I'll be here. Snarkin' to pass the time.