Thursday, February 18, 2016


Today was my first day back at crossfit in...six months? Maybe longer? And the months leading up to that leave of absence were sporadic, at best. I mean, it's hard to keep up with a regular workout routine when you're traveling for work, falling in to bed exhausted after ridiculously long days, spending days trying to refill your energy tank, only to do it all over again. This is not to say I regret the adventures that life handed me in 2015. In fact, I embraced every ridiculous, exhausting, moment of it, and if given the chance would do it all again. This is merely to say that my WOD'ing and workouts have not been regular.

So back at it.

Not gonna lie, it was intimidating as fuck to walk into the gym today. Not knowing who would be there, if I would know anyone, if I could manage the workout. It (almost) felt like being brand new again. Which is why I put it off for soooo long. But sure enough, it was like coming home to family (full disclosure, I made sure I was going to my favorite coaches class, and that she would be there, and I made a workout date with a friend to have a safety net). Familiar faces, and new faces, same space, same routine. And people seem genuinely happy to see me. Hugs were given, catching up and gossip happened, and I worked out (kind of).

Speaking of workouts, and going back to where this post began, today was a serious kick in the pants. It was a workout I had done before. A favorite of mine, actually. One that I not only RX'd last time I did it, but I did really well at it. Lifting heavy shit used to be my jam. Today? Nope. Not so much. My cardio and endurance came to play, because I haven't actually (just) been sitting around eating french fries, but the muscles and strength I used to have? GONE. My defined quads and Kardashian booty? Not there. Sure, the form and muscle memory were there, but the strength was MIA. No, not MIA. I know exactly where it went--it's just not there.

It was beyond humbling to have the coach talk about how I'm a coach there and am super strong (because I'm not anymore). It was almost embarrassing to see my name on the PR board for lifting some seriously heavy shit (because I can't anymore).

It felt good to be back and everything else will come back, or not. But that's okay. Because life happens and goals change. It's all part of the journey.

But in the meantime, I am going to be over here, being humble.

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